Watching your daughter get married is a memory most parents cherish, but one father has been supported by internet users for deciding not to attend his daughter's big day, despite being invited.
Redditors have rallied around a user who posted in the AITA (Am I The A******?) subreddit explaining that he and his wife got divorced when their daughter was 13 years old, leaving her devastated that her family was falling apart.
It was four years later when he met their current wife, which the daughter couldn't forgive and she has held a grudge ever since, as she had hoped that her parents would one day reconcile. The poster and his wife now have two sons together, who his daughter has refused to ever meet.
"My daughter who is 27 is getting married in August. She hasn't invited my wife or our children. I'm very hurt and I told her that since my family wasn't welcome, I shouldn't be welcome too," the father wrote. "She was angry with me and has called me crying, saying that I'm an AH for doing this to her since who is going to walk her down the aisle?"
The Redditor added that his daughter "never liked my wife" despite how much effort his spouse tried to put in with her stepdaughter.
"Now my wife and our small children aren't welcome to her wedding. Everyone else is invited, including her mum's new BF and his sons," he wrote. "She told me that she was free to invite whoever she wanted on her big day, and I totally agree with her and support her decision, but then shouldn't I also be free to decline the invitation?"
After choosing to take a firm stance on the matter, the Reddit user posted an update to further explain why they feel this is the daughter's problem, not his own.
He explained in the update that his daughter "has made zero effort to have any relationship with me since she moved out." It seems that the daughter's response about walking her down the aisle hit a nerve as it showed where her priorities lie.
"She has refused to meet her two brothers and even now, she isn't that much interested in me attending as much as having her father walking her [down the aisle] because it would be embarrassing otherwise. It's time my daughter learned that actions have consequences," the Redditor wrote.
Upon receiving a wedding invitation from a close relative, it's usually an immediate "yes." Family dynamics can sometimes cause strife, however, and make it a more difficult decision.
Wedding expert and blogger Jean Neuhart, who spent 27 years planning weddings, is familiar with the difficulty of saying no to an invitation.
"Children not being invited to a wedding is a poor reason to decline attending yourself, as child-free weddings are quite common. Although, it is understandable for someone to decline an invitation that didn't include their spouse," Neuhart told Newsweek.
"It seems apparent that there is some underlying animosity. What if the only animosity that the daughter has with her parent is the current wife and children? His taking a stand and refusing to attend her wedding is an extreme reaction," she said.
While the wedding expert acknowledges that scenarios like this aren't easy to manage, she is cautious of creating an even further rift with the daughter.
"It is a decision that could drive a further wedge between them and be one they'll likely come to regret," Neuhart said.
Fellow Reddit users offered their support for the OP, as one user commented: "If their relationship with daughter ends, it is her fault solely. She's an adult now. Her father and his wife have children."
Another insisted that OP shouldn't create any irreversible damage to the relationship: "This will probably be the death knell for your relationship. I totally understand why you would hesitate going to the wedding. It's just good to have your eyes wide open and know what this means."
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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